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Unkle Munky Pg 129
*Artist - The Dead Weather. (Tubeway Army cover) *Song - Are 'Friends' Electric? *Videos prone to removal. ---- Locked Out Dean from Derry asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently purchased a second-hand computer from Ebay. So far I have been unable to log on to said pc as the fingerprint recognition system is programmed to respond to the previous owner. What can I do? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Dean, This is a tricky one and no mistake. I can only recommend that you contact the previous owner and ask them to send you their amputated logging-on finger via recorded mail. Dean replies - Oh for fuck’s sake! ---- Munky's HeadLies ---- Overdue Derek from The Vale of Glamorgan asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My girlfriend is six days overdue. As a result she is becoming increasingly anxious. How can I ease her worries? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Derek, I have contacted your local library and am happy to report that no fine will be incurred by your girlfriend if she returns the books within the week. Derek replies - Oh for god’s sake! It's the birth of our baby daughter that's overdue, you idiot! 'Unkle Munky says -' Well if that’s the case I don’t know what she’s worrying about? Her giving birth has nothing to do with the library? Derek sighs - I give up. ---- UK Munky Gold Plus One ---- In Labour Ron from Port Talbot asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My girlfriend has just gone into labour. What can I do to help? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ron, Accepting your girlfriend's political position, even if it differs from your own, is extremely important. You can help her by supporting this decision in a way that befits that of a mature adult. Ron replies - What the fuc...? ---- Bungle's Barely News ---- Munky Tackles Religion Query Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my letter regarding the Bible? I suspect that my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake! 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Warren, Your letter arrived this morning. As to your query: I can confirm that Enid Blyton was indeed responsible for writing the bible. You might also be interested to note that the sequel, 'Noddy and Big Ears go to The Seaside,' although lesser known, is still held in high regard by leading religious figures. ---- Night Tennis ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) asks - Who's winning, Munky?''' '''Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. I'm not sure Mary... To be frank, I don't even know who's playing. ---- Lourdes Jesus Christ Jamie from Aberdeen asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Do you think there is anything to be gained by me taking my ailing gran to Lourdes? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Jamie, Only you can decide if your gran is well enough to make this trip. The fact that you need to ask the question suggests to me that you may have reservations. Why not watch the action on TV? The BBC's coverage of the ashes is second to none. Jamie replies - What the fuc...? I'm talking about Lourdes in Rome, you pillock! Not Lord's cricket ground! 'Unkle Munky says -' Uhh? So The Ashes Series is being played in Rome this year? Is nothing sacred!? ---- I Bet Michael Caine Doesn't Know That! This week, Unkle Munky is betting that Michael Caine has absolutely no idea about the following fact; In 1550 the Earl of Oxford was forced to leave England after accidentally farting in the presence of Queen Elizabeth the 1st. Michael Caine answers - Hello? 'Unkle Munky says -' Hello. Is that Michael Caine? Michael Caine - Yes, yes it is... 'Unkle Munky says -' Hello, Michael. Tell me, why in 1550 was the Earl of Oxford forced to leave England? Michael Caine replies - Who is this!? ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>> Munky's Twitterings>>>